Actions From & Towards

Here we introduce how to express actions from and towards someone or yourself, e.g. “I will have him do this for me”, “She did this for me”, and “I will do this for them”. To form these expressions we need to use the te form with three specific verbs which haven’t yet been introduced.

Critical Rule (The Hidden Subject): In Japanese conversation, the subject is frequently dropped. The main reason these verbs exist is so the listener knows who did the action based purely on the verb ending.

• 〜てくれる: The subject is someone else (doing something for me).
• 〜てあげる: The subject is me (doing something for someone else).
• 〜てもらう: The subject is me (receiving a favor from someone else).

English	Group	Japanese
to deign	Group 2	くれる
to give	Group 2	あげる
to receive	Group 1	もらう

友達ともだちは私わたしにプレゼントをくれる。

My friend will give me a present.

私わたしは友達ともだちにプレゼントをあげる。

I will give a present to my friend.

私わたしは友達ともだちにプレゼントをもらう。

I will receive a present from my friend.

The use of the target particle に with もらう can seem a little strange because we sometimes unwittingly associate it with “to” in English and yet here the meaning is “from my friend”. In fact, we can also use から with the verb もらう, but に is formally correct.

All three are used with the te-form; although you will most often hear the te-form used with くれる and もらう for reasons which I will explain shortly.

くれる

First let’s look at sentences that use the te-form and くれる.

弟おとうとは空港くうこうまで迎むかえに来きてくれた。

My younger brother came to the airport to greet me.

駅えきに着ついたら電話でんわしてくれる？

Will you give me a call when you get to the station?

洗濯物せんたくものを干ほしてくれてありがとう。

Thanks for putting the washing out.

新卒しんそつで仕事しごとの内容ないようがよくわからなかった時ときに指導しどうしてくれた先輩せんぱいに感謝かんしゃしています。

I’m grateful to my senior who gave me guidance when I was a new graduate and didn’t understand the job.

As you may have noticed, in all of the above example sentences the action is one for which you are grateful or appreciative. This is because くれる contains this implication that someone did something as a favor for you. Consequently, the following is unnatural…

上司じょうしは私わたしの提案ていあんを断ことわってくれました。(✗)

My boss rejected my proposal.

… because clearly you’re not appreciative of the fact that your proposal was turned down.

It’s worth remembering the phrase ～てくれてありがとう.

来きてくれてありがとう！

Thanks for coming!

手伝てつだってくれてありがとうございました。

Thank you for lending a hand.

あげる

In contrast ～てあげる is used when you do something for someone else. The reason I say that it is not used as often is because it carries with it the slight risk that you are elevating yourself above your listener—as if you’re deigning to do something for them. Especially in Japanese, where relationship dynamics are an underlying part of the language and culture, and the default position is to put yourself in a position of deference to your listener, it can come across as slightly unnatural. Most commonly it is used in casual conversation between friends.

一人ひとりだと引ひっ越こすのが大変たいへんだから手伝てつだってあげるよ。

It’s tough moving on your own so I’ll give you a hand.

コーヒーを淹いれてあげようか？

Shall I make coffee?

The following dialogue, for example, sounds unnatural.

上司じょうし	いつレポートを提出ていしゅつするの？
Boss	When will you submit the report?
部下ぶか	明日あした提出ていしゅつしてあげます。
Subordinate	I’ll submit the report tomorrow.

We will learn how a subordinate might respond to their boss when we learn honorifics.

In situations where you are doing a favor for someone of a lower status (like a younger sibling), an animal, or a very close friend where you want to sound rough or casual, you can use the verb やる instead of あげる to form 〜てやる.

日本語にほんごを教おしえてやるよ。

I’ll teach you Japanese.

勝かてる自信じしんがあるから明日あしたは試合しあいで見みせてやるぞ。

I’m confident I can win—I’ll show you at the game tomorrow!

そんな態度たいどは許ゆるせない。彼かれに文句もんくを言いってやるよ。

I can’t forgive that attitude. I’ll give him a piece of my mind.

いいよ。お金かねがなければ僕ぼくは君きみの分ぶんも買かってやる。

Don’t worry. If you don’t have any money I’ll buy your share, too.

もらう

Things get a little bit trickier with ～てもらう. It is best to think of it as meaning “to have someone do something for you”. In other words, you have requested someone to perform an action for you or on your behalf. What trips learners up is that the particle that follows the person doing the action for you is に which we instinctively associate with “towards”.

腕うでが痛いたいから、医者いしゃに診みてもらう。

My arm hurts so I will have the doctor take a look.

It might help to remember that you are the topic of the sentence and the final verb is “to receive”. The topic is still connected to the final verb of the sentence—in this case you are “receiving the action of being seen by the doctor”.

JLPT Tip (Particle Double-Up): If the verb expressing the action already uses the に particle to target a destination (e.g., to write a letter to someone), marking the person doing the favor with に creates confusing repetition. In these cases, you should mark the doer with から instead (e.g. 友達から母に手紙を書いてもらった).

時間じかんがないなら明子あきこさんに行いってもらったらいいんじゃない？

If you don’t have time, why don’t you have Akiko-san go for you?

レストランに電話でんわして予約よやくを確認かくにんしてもらってもいい？

Would you mind calling the restaurant and confirming the booking for me?

大学だいがくの教授きょうじゅに推薦状すいせんじょうを書かいてもらいました。

I had my university professor write me a letter of recommendation.

絵里えりがデパートの近ちかくに住すんでいるから、彼女かのじょにケーキを買かってもらおうか？

Eri is living close to a department store so shall we have her buy the cake?

話はなを聞きいてもらいたい。

I want you to listen to what I have to say. (I want to receive the favor of you listening).

Incidentally, to say that you want someone to do something for you we can also use the i-adjective ほしい with the te form (〜てほしい). This uses the same grammar as above (i.e. the person performing the action takes the target particle に), but it is quite a direct phrase and not particularly polite.

やってほしいことがあるんだけど。

There’s something I want you to do for me.